Matt and I just returned from our trip to Japan two weeks ago.  When people ask how our trip was, I am really having a difficult time articulating just how amazing it was.  Nothing really does it justice.  Unlike our other international trips to Australia and Africa, etc. there’s not much to say really.  No hot air balloon rides, overnight open air tree house stays in the middle of safari lands twenty minutes from civilization, or helicopter rides in awe over one of the seven wonders of the world.  Instead, it was lots of heat, walking, eating, drinking, and just enjoying the company of the many welcoming helpful Japanese people we met along the way.

This trip was a little different than our usual ways of traveling as we literally did no planning leading up to it.  Normally, before a big trip like this, I would be researching all the top culinary destinations, booking reservations in advance, and counting down the days until our next greatest meal.  Frankly, there just wasn’t time for it this go around.  The ultimate irony of this is that Japan has the highest number of Michelin-starred restaurants.  I don’t even recognize myself!

But being frank, it was awesome.  No set plans, no dinner reservations to stick to, no expectations.  We dined on local recommendations, interesting places we walked by without having a clue what anything said on the menu, or the next place we came across when we were (OK fine, I was) starving or in desperate need of a bathroom.

I thought about Dean a lot when we were there (of course, I thought about Kate too) but I thought about Dean from the perspective of how challenging this trip would be if I were him.  And I thought about how difficult spontaneity is when you live with food allergies, particularly a plethora of them, and how people really can’t begin to understand how life-altering this is without having experienced it.  I can’t tell you the number of meals I ate where I had no idea what exactly I was putting in my mouth.  I ate bento boxes full of 20 different items for breakfast prepared by our innkeeper without knowing what I was eating,

Bento box breakfast at our ryokan (a traditional Japanese inn)

pointed to pictures of food on a menu to place an order without knowing the ingredients, or followed a server outside the restaurant to point to a wax figure of a dish in the window to indicate what I desired.  I couldn’t imagine trying to communicate to someone who doesn’t speak the same language (or very little) to explain the 25 things I’m allergic to.  How could you?  And then you also need to gage how seriously he or she is taking the conversation.  Even when I’m home in the U.S., so much of my “trust” when we go out to dinner is based on gut feel, e.g. is the server actually listening, do I think he/she actually checked with the chef or manager, does he/she seem to CARE?  It’s for this reason Dean has still never had take-out.  I can’t see the person I’m taking to over the phone or ordering from on-line, and it’s just too risky for my comfort level.  I’ve always hoped to show my kids how to enjoy life to the fullest – to travel the world, experience life and love, follow their dreams, and take risks.  I hope that Dean is able to do all of these despite his allergies.  I am determined not to make them life limiting!

When people asked us who was watching the kids, everyone assumes family.  I know people are always shocked to hear that we had a sitter watch our kids for 11 days.  Yes, you read that right – 11 DAYS!  And if people really knew the extent of planning and trust that goes along with leaving your kid who has life-threatening allergies with another individual (family or not), they’d probably think we were certifiably crazy.  But that’s the thing.  You really have to trust in people during this whole process.  I have to trust that his daycare will feed him the right food, I have to trust that family and sitters will feed him foods that we’ve prepared or labeled for him and not veer off, I have to trust that restaurants will honor our requests.  If I don’t, I’ll go insane or Dean will literally live in a bubble, and I just won’t allow that because that’s not the type of parent I set out to be.

We did have one scare with Dean while we were gone.  Our sitter had just finished feeding the kids dinner when Dean threw up.  He had a few hive spots for a few days but they seemed to be popping up more after vomiting.  She was worried he was having a reaction and needed an epi pen or trip to the emergency room.  I’m so grateful for modern technology.  Matt and I had our cell phones so she could text/call us, and we carried a pocket wi-fi with us for emergencies (and a map and google translator!).  I can’t believe that from across the world, we were able to talk, send pictures of what was happening, pull up pictures and history of symptoms from this blog or google drive to show previous anaphylactic reactions for her to compare symptoms, etc.  Ultimately, we concluded that we didn’t think he was having a reaction but rather an impetigo flare-up from his eczema.  Thankfully, that turned out to be the case.  But for a nervous hour there, I had a moment of panic, “Did I just put too much responsibility on this person?”  and “What would we actually do if he was having a reaction?”  I felt guilty for putting our sitter through the amount of stress and worry I could tell she was feeling.  Thankfully, there really wasn’t an emergency, and the impetigo was cleared up within a few days after a doctor’s visit the next morning and his topical antibiotic.  If you still were to ask me if I would do it again and trust this person to know what to do in a real emergency situation and with my kids’ lives, the answer is yes.  I just have to continue to believe in that trust.

My favorite dish of the trip – salt water eel (anago), egg, and gobo (burdok root)

The most unusual thing I ate – salted ovary of pollock (a fish)

—————-

To note, I’m including pictures of Dean’s impetigo reaction this go around as I realize now just how valuable these historical posts are.

July 9, 2015 impetigo

Also, if you are reading this because you also have a kid who has allergies and are looking for advice on how to make vacationing without him/her happen, here are some tips I hope you find helpful:

• Label all foods your child can eat safely (fridge, pantry, freezer).  We put our initials on boxes, jars, etc. as a routine practice or label homemade things with “OK” on the containers.
• Prepare dishes you know are safe to eat to last for a few days or freeze them ahead of time to just thaw and reheat.
• If you can’t freeze dishes ahead of time, leave several recipes that are allergen-friendly and review proper procedures to avoid cross-contamination.
• Buy all the pantry items for the specific recipes so you can verify the ingredient list yourself and all that needs to be purchased are fresh items like meat, seafood, produce, etc.
• Leave emergency numbers for family/friends who are local, your children’s doctors, and desired hospital if there is a preference in the event of an emergency.
• Leave copies of your medical insurance and pharmacy cards.
• Ensure your emergency plan and allergen list are current and complete
• Check for unexpired medication and epi pens.
• Review the emergency plan, pointing out signs of mild and severe reactions, antihistamine doses, and practice with the epi pen.
• Most importantly, relax and have fun!

Enjoying green tea in a yukata (summer kimono)