It’s hard to believe it’s been almost 3 months since I started this blog.  We’ve (our family) come a long way since then.  I was in the “overwhelm” back then, trying to balance (unsuccessfully) work, Dean’s allergies, the division of labor at home, time for myself, and all the other things that fill up that precious thing we call time.  For me, there is never enough time.  When Matt and I were dating, I once said, “Uh, why can’t the day be 36 hours instead of 24?”  (There is always “one more thing” that I want to do before bed.)  He laughed and said, “Do you think that will make a difference?  You’d just find 12 more hours of stuff to do.”  Hmm, he knows me well.  It was also time to face the fact that I had to prioritize freeing up time to start cooking all of Dean’s meals from scratch.  Unfortunately, the days of the quick jarred or pouched single or few ingredient baby foods were no longer cutting it.  The question was how?

At the time, I was easily working 55-hour weeks in a fairly stressful environment.  It was routine that I’d stay up until 1 or 2 AM at least twice a week working since I’m usually in meetings 9-5 most days; it’s difficult to get emails read or work done during the day.  Pre-Dean, this was actually fine with me, and I truly didn’t mind it.  I both love what I do and think I’m pretty damn good at it so my job is a win-win situation.  Plus, my career is very important to me and is a real part of my identity.  In order for me to keep up with my job however, I had hired a personal assistant to help me with things (running errands, cleaning makeup brushes, weather proofing my leather shoes, etc.)  When weeks were really hectic, we also relied on a meal service (they do the menu, grocery shopping, chopping and prepping, and you do the cooking).  It was great because Matt could follow the recipes and do the cooking so when I got home with the kids, dinner was ready.  When needed, we also had the luxury to rely on prepped foods from Whole Foods, prepped salads from Trader Joe’s, and of course, there was always eating out or delivery.  Once Dean turned 14 months, all that changed.  Most of the meal services didn’t work because of the ingredient limitations, I was too nervous about cross-contamination at the Whole Foods deli section, and eating out/delivery were way too scary for the same reason.  He couldn’t eat half of the items at daycare so we were bringing in food there too or planning an alternate menu with the cafeteria head every week.  And every time we’d go somewhere, someone’s house for a party, BBQ, etc., we always had to bring food there too.  There was literally no relief in sight.  I went from loving cooking to hating it.

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